First Day of School

Wow...has it really been a month since I last wrote a post?  All I can say is that it has been one extremely busy month and I've been fully engaged with my children and my family.  I'll write more about our fun summer vacation and other adventures soon.  Today, I want to write about...today.

Today was the first day of school!

The Bean is starting what's called VPK here in Florida - Voluntary Pre-Kindergarten.  He's still four.  Not going to Kindergarten until next year, and thank heavens for that.  I'm so not ready!  The Little One is starting his new school year too - up to three mornings each week from last year's two - in a new school.  New teachers and classrooms for them (and me!).

The boys have been going to preschool two mornings each week for the last two years and we've all loved it.  It's been nice for me to have a little unencumbered time to do...well anything that's easier to do without two little guys tagging along.  They've learned social skills, how to be separate people (from me and each other), that it's okay to trust their teachers to take care of them when Mom and Dad aren't there, and innumerable other things that will help them fulfill all the potential my husband and I see in them every day.

This year is different.  The Bean will be going to school five mornings each week.  Wow...five.  I'm really hung up on that.  This might as well be Kindergarten!  I'm suddenly facing my little boy growing up and I'm finding myself very unprepared for the onslaught of emotion.  I hear things like, "He's ready for it!"  "Don't worry, you'll both end up loving it!"  "Think of all the free time you're going to have!" And I know all these things to be true, but I'm just not ready yet to give up my time with the Bean.  But we're doing it, because it's the best thing for our son.  And we'll do it with a smile and excitement, because he needs to see our enthusiasm to grow his own.

And if, tomorrow morning, the Bean cries and clings to me like he did this morning, I'll once again kiss him goodbye, smile while I promise to be back before lunchtime, and walk out of his classroom door like everything is fine, even though I'm dying inside listening to him pleading with me to stay with him.  There were two moms in my head warring this morning between "Keep walking, it's the best thing you can do for him right now!" and "Have you lost your mind - how could you leave your terrified little boy?!"

When I picked him up today, my little Bean was happy - not because he was leaving school, but because he had a great day!  He told me about his day, the cool playground, explained the green paint on his shirt (finger painting leaves!) and how his teacher helped him feel better when he was sad after I left this morning.  I was bursting with pride and pleasure in him, and gratitude for his teacher, who did what she promised me she would do.  When he wouldn't let go of me this morning, she looked me right in the eye and said, "Will you let me take him from you, and trust me to love him and help him handle this?"  What a blessing good teachers are!

What does the Little One think of school, you ask?  He loves it.  LOVES it.  He was upset that this morning wasn't "real" school for him - it was his classroom "sneak peek," when the children get to come with their parents and explore the classroom and meet their teachers with the safety net of Mom or Dad there.  We walked into the room, he let go of my hand and immediately set out to touch and play with every single thing in his "giant new class" (his words!).  An hour was not nearly long enough to satisfy him, and he certainly didn't want me getting in his way.  On FaceTime tonight with Daddy, he spent five minutes telling a convoluted story about what the plastic donkey was doing in Barbie's Dreamhouse*.  Wednesday will be his first full morning, and as far as he's concerned, it can't come fast enough.  The Bean told me, tearfully, this morning that he wanted to stay home with me forever and never go to school.  The Little One asked when he'd be big enough to ride the school bus.

I'm truly looking forward to what the year will bring, and there is real joy in picking my boys up at the end of their school day.  The big smiles as they dash out the door to hug me, chattering away about projects, games and friends.  They both love going to school and really thrive in that environment, and it's truly a miracle to get to see them grow into themselves throughout each year.  The two mornings each week when it will be just me and the Little One are going to be wonderful, too!  He told me today that he'd like to go to Starbucks with me (ha!) and play with all his brother's Legos (double-ha!).

So - if you're the parent who loves watching their children thrive and grow in school, but who isn't also waiting for the last day of summer vacation with bated breath, or isn't ready for five-mornings-a-week preschool, all-day Kindergarten, or facing the reality of time flying by faster than you can wrap your fingers around it, it's okay.  I'm right there, too. 

ps.
*In case you were wondering what the donkey was doing in the Dreamhouse: Riding the elevator up and down and up and down, and getting dressed to go play in the sand park before heading to the playground, which was bad because he got sand on the slides, and then there was something about using tweezers to possibly break a rope.  I clearly lost a bit of the story there. The Little One definitely has the makings of an Irish storyteller!